I remember you...
Passion Blue.
A heart full of heart.
Feelings spilling over journals and floppy disks
I had a gift.
I wrote down how I felt
And when I was done.
IT WAS FINISHED.
no edits, no drafts, no work or annoying steps.
I made my own lane and rules.
no commas,
run on sentences,
and the spelling ?
was just like I said it.
I was confident surrounded by nay sayers and haters
reminding me of the writers process.
I was consistent then....getting out my feelings, thoughts and dreams no matter what.
No matter who it hurt,
no matter who heard it
no matter if it was ever shared.
I did things for me.
I expressed myself well and held space for me to be.
Bluecess... What happened?
Why did you stop writing just for you?
Why did you stop sharing it with the world?
Why did you start caring about them more than yourself?
Why did you accept the criticism as facts?
What happened Bluecess?
I acknowledge how at peace you were in the mist of the storm
I acknowledge how music soothes you and spews from your lips
I acknowledge that I've ignored you and left you in the Blue.
Bluecess, I acknowledge that you were everything I need now.
Forgive me for the distance, the silence and the self hate.
I wish to propel you forward and speak up for your sake.
You were a child and needed a protector.
I will shield you from the harm and consistently give you a thrones to sit on.
You were royal even then,
Full of love,
Favorite color Blue,
A princess,
A true friend.
Because back then, I truly loved on me.
Dear inner child,
I love you and will begin holding space for you
whole heartedly.
-Servant Saivonne
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