I shared your words
I felt your presence
I wanted to make you proud girl!
I was finally doing it for myself
In that very moment I felt something
My whole body responded to you taking hold of me.
You werent numb anymore
You took it all in
You came alive
You spoke through me
You shook my core.
Tears balling streams of rivers down my cheeks
My ability to speak muffled with cries and power
Your power bluecess
My power too
A power Ive missed
Overlooked by my own
Talent
Dismissed for jacks sake
Tonight was so hard
Self sabotage screaming for me to leave and be mad
I just wanted peace, my kids were driving me nuts, he had no control over them and was just allowing them to roam around and disturb people. I was bothered
People were bothered
They were receiving alot of attention.
Attention I wanted on me and my mission, not my kids , their outbursts and disturbances, their falling out, taking off shoes and socks
Just wanted you to kick rocks for me...
.but I guess it would have required you to leave.
I wanted your support, just figured you knew what that looked like and meant for me.
I want you to feel any experience what you claim shouldn't bother me
I want to see you concerned about picking up a crying baby in the mist of your set
I sought out the perfect evening to share your feelings and thoughts....
My family was there....
My kids were there
As much as I loved this
My family just had all the attention I desired for myself
For once I wanted it to feel all about me.
For once I wanted to bask in the spotlight and embrace my place in it all
For once I wanted to share my heart with the world and see what boomerangs I get back.
I wanted connections and vulnerability
I apparently needed a babysitter to have this experience...
I couldn't count on my partner for assistance in making sure my 3 minutes went uninterrupted
My 3 minutes to tap in with what serves me, feeds me and heals me.
I was robbed bluecess please forgive me
I didn't for see the blocks ahead
The ones keeping me from growing, sharing, being present, being seen, being free...just being me.
This moment was special for me.... blue
I even got a special blue outfit for you. I went all in for you and wanted it all for you.
How could he tap out like that? How he gone act like crying and making noise ain't disturbing....kids are cute and can also be annoying
Have I not instilled order with my kids?
Why they always causing a scene ,? Being loud, obnoxious and disobedient just because folks around watching. Tired but won't sit down. Damn. Let me be.
Let me be ,
If only to fill my own cup ..
Let my love overflow so no one is thirsty
Let me overflow
So my spirit lay not hungry
Let me overflow and feel everything through...
I need it to be what's best for me and for you.
I am nothing to anyone if I'm nothing for myself.
Let being myself overflowth
From me and no one else.
How can I love my neighbors as myself when I myself am not showing love to myself for myself.
It all starts with you
The princess
Named after the hue
Passion Blue.
I love you and I'm sorry today wasn't everything you had hoped
-Servant Saivonne
